Ice-Capades 13: Week 16/17 Edition

It’s less than a week until the Olympics, and I’m excited to see Laila Edwards compete in the Olympics as the first Black female hockey player for the United States Women’s National Team. The men’s hockey can get blown out by France for all I care—a Bronx cheer to Bill Guerin and Doug Armstrong’s questionable decisions.

What team is the Philadelphia Flyers? In one game, we snap a five-game losing skid against the Vegas Golden Knights. Then, in the next game, Garnet Hathaway makes a Patrick Stefan-esque blunder, which results in the Flyers losing to the Mammoth in overtime. The next game, the Flyers put a touchdown plus an extra point against the best team in the league. Somehow, our power play looks better than the Canes, and that’s not even a compliment! Sam Ersson is flashing the potential that has made him an NHL-caliber goaltender in Dan Vladar’s absence (heal up, we've got a Metro moshpit to crowd kill), and Bobby Brink has looked like the glue the Flyers missed during their losing skid. Oh yeah, the Flyers stopped their losing five games away from their annual 10-game losing skid, which I hope is a harbinger of the new era of Orange and Black I see advertised.

Now we did lose to the Islanders and the red-hot Bruins, but it goes to show how advanced they are in their rebuild compared to us. Denver Barkey looks great, we have more great young talent developing in Lehigh Valley, and we finally found a decent goaltender. All progress in the rebuild. I said at the beginning of the season that if we’re at least competitive and in a bubble spot at the end of the season, I’ll be happy. And so far, my predictions have come true, and I am happy. At least we’re not the Maple Leafs?

Sighs. Time to address the White House-sized elephant in the room with the Florida Panthers. In case you didn’t know, the Panthers went to the White House to visit our current president. And while it’s been a tradition for a long time, given gesticulates wildly, the Panthers’ White House visit has not sat well with fans. I will make an article at some point about how hockey has always been political, but I wanted to say this: of course, Tkachuk would suck up to the president! He’s on one of his committees that intends to ban trans kids and adults from participating in sports, which is their favorite dogwhistle BTW. While Tkachuk is more of an extreme example of a hockey player actively pushing through conservative/far-right policies (Theo Fleury also comes to mind, but he’s more relevant in Canada than the US), a lot of hockey players skew more politically conservative than you’d probably expect. Which is funny given the NHL marketing for “Heated Rivalry”, but I digress. My “Heated Rivalry” take will wait for another day.

The Carolina Hurricanes are riding the Bussi bus until the wheels fall off. He has set a record among all NHL goaltenders as the fastest to 15 wins. It also doesn’t hurt that Jaccob Slavin has returned from injury and automatically improved the defense. It was getting rough out there watching the defense without Jacob with 2 c’s. While Slavin recovered, Alexander Nikishin continued to lower the boom, including knocking a guy out who forgot how much Nikishin looks like Drago from “Rocky”. Don’t mess with him unless you’re Sylvester Stallone.

Canes free agents K’Andre Miller and Nikolaj Ehlers have been home runs for GM Eric Tulsky. Miller took some time, but has since adjusted to the defensive system. And Ehlers has provided the strength, speed, and skill that the Canes have needed. Ehlers can also win faceoffs, an action that I am sure has his coach, Rod Brind’amour, who was one of the best players in the faceoff dot, thrilled. Here’s to hoping the Canes win more than one Eastern Conference Finals game (if they get there!!)

All my (New York) Rangers have escalated the drama for their 100th season. Guest features include: another letter (as if the one in 2018 wasn’t enough), new captain JT Miller’s “Some BS” effort on display yet again, no Shesterkin, who, like fellow goaltender Henrik Lundqvist, will most likely end his career without a cup and two regulation wins at home in the ugliest centennial jerseys I’ve seen. And the Rangers can’t develop talent in their farm system, and when they do don Rangers blue (like 2019 first overall draft pick Kappo Kakko), they don’t live up to potential, they get traded elsewhere, and then excel. I’d recommend not looking at Kappo Kakko’s stats in Seattle if you’re a Rangers fan. Or Chris Kreider, or Jacob Trouba, or K’Andre Miller, or Barclay Goodrow. You get the point, the Rangers have had an issue squandering prospective stars and scorning Ranger veterans. I wonder if they’ll fire Chris Drury because of his inaction in building a team around star goaltender Shesterkin, PLUS his decision on trading Trouba last season, oh wait, he isn't getting axed! Welcome to having a bad GM!

The only good team that plays at MSG is the Sirens, and that doesn’t happen until April. The Rangers have sat Panarin as he will be traded (to where, remains unknown). They also just shipped Carson Soucy to the Islanders, and he rewarded his former team by scoring a goal against them. Welcome to hell, Rangers. Your loss is the Eastern Conference’s source of perpetual joy.

What a time to be alive as a Flyers fan when both the Rangers and New Jersey Devils are at the bottom of the Eastern Conference. While the Devils have somewhat righted the ship, they are still closer to a top 10 lottery pick than they are to doing something in the playoffs. And just as I typed that sentence, Luke Hughes suffered another shoulder injury. If Jack or Luke could stay injury-free for one season, they could live up to their potential as top 5 draft picks in their respective draft classes. GM Tom Fitzgerald did do something and traded Ondrej Palat to the Islanders, which had to happen. Palat was not doing well in New Jersey, and he hopefully improves on Long Island. At least their captain, Nico Hischier, actively tries, which is one fact Devils fans can (and should) lord over Rangers fans.

The Detroit Red Wings are in the Atlantic Division’s top three, which is an accomplishment given how much of a battle every two points is. If I said the Central Division was trench warfare, the Atlantic Division is a Battle of the Somme. John Gibson has improved as a Red Wing, and the core of Alex DeBrincat, Patrick Kane, and Dylan Larkin is performing admirably. Everyone and their mom has an opinion about the Ben Chiarot three-year extension; it makes sense for Steve Yzerman to extend a veteran defenseman, given how young some of their D core is. Now don’t mess this up, maybe make some trades to give your core some depth, and you’ll make it. Please? I want to see those iconic Centennial jerseys in some playoff hockey bouts!

The Ottawa Senators remind me of last year’s Flyers. Great forward core talent that subpar goaltending has (and will) squander. At least the Flyers have one decent goaltender. The Senators have three subpar goaltenders with save percentages well below .900. When you bring in James Reimer as relief, you know you have a goaltending problem. Granted, they got Reimer because of Linus Ullmark going on leave to take care of his mental health, but Reimer ALSO has a save percentage of .873. Go ahead and go on a run, Senators, but playing subpar hockey for half the season will lead you to placing just outside the playoffs. Or near the bottom of the league—ask me how I know—.

Good job, Buffalo Sabres! No, seriously, you look poised to end your playoff drought. Thank your lucky stars your owner turned to meddling with the Bills so that you can flourish. It’s nice seeing your arena full again; it depressed me as a hockey fan because I know how much youth hockey (and the NHL) means in Buffalo. Plus, some of the first hockey games I watched were Sabres games, so I’m glad they’re doing well. I hope that if the Flyers don’t make it, the Sabres will. They (and the city of Buffalo) deserve it.

The Minnesota Wild have used the Quinn Hughes trade to make themselves third in the Central. That’s what an elite defenseman can do. That, and the Central Division frontrunners in the Stars and Avalanche going on cold streaks—the Stars winning 8 of 16 and the Avalanche on a three-game losing streak—. They may want another elite center, but any price that includes Jesper Wallstedt is too high. He’s a great young goaltender, and I know that they aren’t a renewable resource that can easily be bought.

The Colorado Avalanche still have the most points in the league and are a Presidents’ Trophy favorite, but they’re on a bit of a skid lately. How do I know this? They lost to the PHILADELPHIA FLYERS. AT HOME. By a touchdown plus an extra point. I know they miss Landeskog and half of their stars are competing in the Olympics, but for the love of all things holy, at least TRY to show up a bit more?

They’re leaving the Wood Pile (Scott Wedgewood and Mackenzie Blackwood) out to dry more than kindling logs. They then went on a road trip and lost to a team with no goaltending (the Senators) and the Canadiens. I’d like to think the Canadiens saw their Nordiques uniforms and decided to give them another mollywolloping so they don’t wear those jerseys in the Bell Center again. On the bright side, they’re at least trying to cede the Presidents’ Trophy curse to someone else in the NHL so they can get Lord Stanley again.

It is time to crown the Pacific Division

How do I know it’s a tank division? Only the top two teams (Vegas and Edmonton) have a positive goal differential. Vegas has won by simply treading water, whereas Edmonton is going through a two-game losing streak despite seemingly solving its goaltending problems with a Jarry/Ingram tandem. Shoutout to overtime loss points, the Golden Knights really love those! But in a Tank Division, one must look at the truly awful teams.

Let’s look at these contestants for the top 10 overall picks at this year’s draft (except San Jose, keep doing what you’re doing).

Just as I wrote, “The Anaheim Ducks have not gone quack” into this document, they end up going on a 7-game heater to put themselves into a wild card spot. Shoutout to Lucas Dostal for continuing the Ducks’ record of stellar goaltending. Ville Husso has also stepped in when Dostal got injured. While the Ducks are in a playoff series, getting shutout by checks notes the actively tanking Vancouver Canucks (HOW) is not great for a supposed playoff contender. But then again, this is tank division, so I shouldn’t be as surprised. I’m expecting a collapse come March and April, but the Ducks should have no shame. The rebuild is finally kicking into gear for them, and all I can say is that I hope that Ryan Poehling has fun. That is all.

I’ll be nice to the San Jose Sharks. The rebuild is working! They have the future of the league in forwards Mackin Celebrini, his bestie Will Smith, and William Eklund, plus a great veteran presence with Tyler Toffoli, Alex Wennberg, and John Klinberg. Bad news, their goaltending is a bit inconsistent, but shoutout to Alex Nedelkovic for giving the Sharks’ crease some stability while Yaroslav Askarov works through his inconsistency a bit more. I have one question for Coach Ryan Warsofsky: with that talented forward core, why put out two defenders for three-on-three overtime WITH EDMONTON? OF COURSE YOU WERE GOING TO LOSE! THEY HAVE AN AUTOMATIC CHEAT CODE IN MCDAVID AND DRAISATIL. WILL SMITH AND MACKLIN CELEBRINI WERE PLAYING WELL, AGAIN. Sharks fans have every right to be upset if this miscue costs you a playoff spot.

A team that repeatedly gives Brian Dumolin and Cody Ceci defensive pairing minutes is horrible. You may ask, who would do that? Well, that team is the Los Angeles Kings, broken from Edmonton, owning them for four straight playoff series. Have a problem blowing leads? Well, have the pylons known as aging defenders Brian Dumolin and Cody Ceci to help! It’s not like their plus-minus are bad (except Dumolin has a +2 this season, for some reason) and Ceci created an own goal against the Sabres…oh wait. They did! Someone give Darcy Kuemper a heavy stick to whack both of his supposed defenders with. At least Flyers legend Andrei Kuzmenko looks like he’s having fun despite his team playing the kind of hockey that could be used as a sleep aid.

The Seattle Kraken are frustratingly inconsistent. They can either look like a playoff contender or a lottery team, depending on the day. While Grubauer has his groove back, the Kraken lack top-line scorers. Kappo Kakko has improved, as has Jared McCann, but the supposed high-end talent in Shane Wright has taken a step back. I know that LA, Anaheim, San Jose, and Florida are in the Panarin trade sweepstakes, but Seattle may need him to provide the scoring touch on their top line. It would also continue the narrative of Rangers on the West Coast that would make me, a Rangers hater, very happy.

Is Calgary retooling? Making a playoff push? It looks like they’re in the former as they traded Rasmus Andersson to the Vegas Golden Knights in exchange for Ryan Whitecloud, prospect Abram Wiebe, and a first and second-round pick in the 2027 and 2028 drafts. Stockpiling picks is an example of a retooling team. Now let’s see what price Kadri can fetch, and the Flames can go from there. Dustin Wolf and Devin Cooley need more defensive and offensive help.

The master tank of the Vancouver Canucks rolls on after trading Quinn Hughes. Not much needs to be said except that they have become the ultimate trap game for teams to win against. Lose to the Canucks, and you have to soul-search for a bit, plus apologize to the Canucks for temporarily derailing their tank. My only question is, how did they mismanage Thatcher Demko’s health? This is the eleventy billionth time the Canucks have had to shut him down, which ought to raise questions for the training staff and the Canucks front office for giving him a contract extension if they knew he was so brittle.

Mackenzie Weegar still leads the NHL with a -30. But over the past week, Brock Boeser has crept up on the Flames’ forward’s lead. It also helps that he is part of the walking tank also known as the Vancouver Canucks that I explicated above. Tyler Myers, his other teammate, is on the leaderboard with a -23, but he is not a potential Masters winner like Boeser is. The remainder of the players are mostly unchanged from Week 13’s check-in, except for Flame Nazem Kadri making his way back up to sixth on the leaderboard and Blackhawks’ young defensemen Arytom Levshunov in at 8th with a -21. Just like with Red Wings’ defenseman Albert Johannson, who I discussed in Icecapades #11, his massive minus can best be attributed to a mix of adjustment to the NHL. Unlike Johannson, who plays on the Red Wings, a team that aspires to break its 8 year playoff drought, Levshunov has the excuse of being on a rebuilding Blackhawks team that is expected to be near the bottom of the barrel.